Time to turn the page…

I have been doing alot of thinking lately – this is not unusual for me – however, my thinking has been of the spiritual nature. I started reading this book, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, and it got me thinking about Gods purpose for me and my life. I don’t know exactly what that is yet, but I do know that I have this overwhelming desire for the loved ones in my life to experience what I have over the last several years. I feel guilty that at this time in my spiritual journey, I do not have the knowledge of His word to back up what I am feeling and what I am trying to convey. But, while thinking about how I can convince others of the peace that I feel in my life now, now that I am working on my relationship with God, I realized that I can use my blog to share my experiences. My testimonies. So, instead of using this blog to complain about my life, the people in it, and all of the things I am lacking, I am going to turn this into a spiritual blog. This would be the point where anyone who isn’t interested in hearing about my spiritual journey can click off. If you read on and join with me, then maybe you will be inspired to take your own journey – to walk with Jesus!

I don’t know exactly where to start and I doubt that I can cram all of my exciting thoughts into one entry, so I will just type what comes to me at this moment. Let me first say that I did not always care about my relationship with God. I did not always have room for him in my life and I most certainly did not surrender myself to him. But ever-loving, as God is, he was always in my life, laying a path for me to come to Him. I think back at how many times He has held me in His hand because He had better things planned for my life. The times in my life that I turned away from God or didn’t care enough to work on my relationship with Him, those were the worst times in my life and those are the times that still haunt me and that Satan constantly reminds me of, trying to get me to forget that I am forgiven. Yes, having a relationship with God takes effort and sacrifice and it means that you can’t continue to do things and not care about the consequences. That’s where I was in my life.. I didn’t want to take the time to get to know God because I knew it would take away from my own agenda. I didn’t care about the consequences of my actions, either here on earth or in heaven. This is so important because there are people in my life, one in particular, that I see struggling. This one person, she constantly talks about her “bad luck” and how bad things are always happening to her. She is lonely and wants so much more for her life than she has right now but doesn’t think that she deserves it. I have been her friend for over 10yrs and I didn’t see it before.. I see it now. I see that it used to be me. That used to be the way that I felt. Everything was always a struggle for me. Relationships, money, jobs, family… something good might happen and it would give me hope, but it was always so fleeting and any glimpse of happiness was shrouded with negative thoughts and doubts. This my friends, is what the Devil wants for us! This is not what God wants or has planned for us! I had no idea at the time that the struggles in my life had anything to do with my relationship (or lack thereof) with God. And do you know why? Because I was not living a life that was pleasing to God. He kept giving me direction and I kept turning the other way, believing that I could make my own direction and I would be fine. But, I never was. I so much wish that I could convince my friend that her life is not riddled with ‘bad luck”, that she deserves good things and she would have them if she would just let go and let God. If she unburdened herself and laid her worries at the feet of Jesus, she would come to know peace. Things in her life would start to change for the better. Good things would happen for her and it wouldn’t be because her luck had changed..

That is all for now… definitely more later, as I have so much to say about what has happened in my life and how things came about. My parting thought for today is, do you think your life is riddled with bad luck?

About Amy

Hello! I am 33 years old, a wife (just recently in 2012) and a mother (that came first in 2009). I used to be fairly laid back, but having a kid really upped my sensitivty which was heightened already. I really believe in saying how I feel, when I feel it. I express my feelings – alot – maybe too much…but I feel that it lets everyone know where I stand so that there is no confusion. And, I would like the same in return – but… good luck with that!

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